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Part 1: Friendship is Not Free;
It Must be Earned!
Let's resolve to do these things better:
- Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk to people about the things that interest them, the things they treasure most.
- Talk to people about themselves and recognize their importance.
- Respect other people's good judgment and avoid arguments.
- Never tell anyone they are wrong; we all rationalize to the point of thinking we are
unequivocally right.
- Criticize yourself before other people have a chance to.
If you are wrong,
admit it!
- Tread softly, you will go farther.
- Let your friends feel as though they have excelled you at some time or
another.
- Let others do a great deal more of the talking.
- Figure out why others think as they do; look at it from their viewpoint.
- Show compassion toward others (this is yearned for).
- Treat people with respect, dignity, honesty, truthfulness and willingness; they will generally
emulate those feelings.
- Challenge others to do something better, never force them.
- Call attention to mistakes indirectly (don't broadcast).
- Make difficulties seem easy to conquer.
- Praise minutest improvements and inspire hidden treasures in others.
- Be friendly.
- Force yourself to smile! (You will.)
- Consider others' good points.
- Make others want to follow your suggestions.
- Always appreciate people's time.
- Be interested in everyone you meet.
- Always remember: good manners only require small sacrifices.
- Remember names; a person's name is truly the most treasured sound he hears.
Use the I.R.A. principles to help remember names.
- I mpression - What does the person look like or remind you of?
- Repetition - Say the person's name at least 5 times in the conversation.
- Association - What does this person DO that connects you to them?
- Need enthusiasm? Say this 3 times out loud: “ACT enthusiastically and you'll BE enthusiastic.” It works.
- Perfect yourself first, then worry about everyone else.
- Treat difficult people with sympathy, tolerance and kindness — it goes a lot further than a
short fuse.
- Learn the difference between appreciation and flattery — one is from the heart, the other
is from the teeth.
- Accept the fact that everyone is superior to you in one way or another, and learn from
that trait.
- When not engaged in some definite problem-solving, most people are thinking about themselves
95% of the time. If you can consciously reduce your self-centered thinking to 50%, the positive results will be dramatic!
- Why should people be interested in you and me, unless we are first interested in them?
- We are all interested in what we want. Be a little different: Be interested in what the other
person wants and needs. (Get the other person's point of view and see things from his
angle as well as your own. Be interested in helping others, not only yourself.)
- Decide to do things for others without ulterior motives.
- Do things for others that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness, and you will make
many friends.
- The ability to listen is rarer than almost any other trait. (Listen and learn.)
- This is an old one: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We all know
who wrote that one.
- Do unto others as they would have you do unto them. (Do it THEIR way.)
- Be polite in dealing with people. Use little phrases like, "I'm sorry to trouble you…," "Would you
be so kind as to…," "Would you please…," "Would you mind…," “Thank you,” etc.. They are the
hallmark of civility and good culture.
- Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.
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